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The current year signifies a full decade since the term “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed guide to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it describes couples who choose against having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a prospective partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {